Speaking at a rally on Friday night, President Donald Trump bragged about his demand that the U.S. government give him a huge payout, and said he would be the ultimate arbiter of whether he will receive the money.
      • halcyoncmdr@lemmy.worldEnglish
        13·
        2 months ago

        In Japan, heart surgeon. Number one. Steady hand. One day, Yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But, mistake! Yakuza boss die. Yakuza very mad. I hide in fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car, and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret: I kill Yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!

  • ToastedRavioli@midwest.socialEnglish
    16·
    2 months ago

    There’s never been a case like this. Donald Trump sues the United States of America. Donald Trump becomes president. And now Donald Trump has to settle the suit. I hereby give myself $1 billion. Actually, maybe I shouldn’t give it to charity. Maybe I should keep the money. No? A lot of people say do it. I don’t wanna do it. But whatever happens, it’s all going to good charities. Is that ok? All going to good charities. But isn’t that a strange position to be in? I’ve gotta make, I’ve gotta make a deal. I negotiate with myself.

    Crackheads have more clear and organized thought processes than this

    • Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.worldEnglish
      15·
      2 months ago

      But whatever happens, it’s all going to good charities.

      Says the man whose own philanthropic foundation was forcibly dissolved because he was using it as a slush fund and redirecting donations to his golf clubs.