After the investigation was concluded, Iona was charged with leaving his monastery without permission (pobeg), intricate and inverted miracles (vymyshlennye i zateinye chudesa), fantastic nonsense (svoemudrstvennye bredni), utter insolence and the filthy crime of sex with an animal (pakost’ skotolozhstva)

“What are you in for?”

“Fantastic nonsense, silliness, goofin’ around, bein’ a lil’ stinker, and the filthy crime of sex with an animal.”

How did I end up spending part of my Tuesday reading a scientific study about legal handling of sex with animals in early modern Russia? Wonders of the internet, and yes it fits the community.

I don’t think that’s what they meant when they said ‘just get a fleshlight’