You could try “I’m going to do this thing on this day. If you would like to join me, I’ll be there at this time. Let me know if you’re coming by (RSVP date) so that I can book you a spot/plate/room: it will be $this much.” And then make your plans and do them anyway.

I thought alot about doing this but I cannot wrap my head around how to actually do that? Like ok I’m gonna try to express some of my mental blocks I have right now:

• I feel rude, I feel like I’m bragging to my friends that I’m doing stuff I know they just won’t do
• If I did this then I’d have to plan for the real possibility of doing an activity alone, that’s gonna bias me towards doing things that might be less social than if I was picking things to do at random
• If I do this than how do I know if I’m being too inflexible when my friends want to make changes? In the past year I tried litterally letting go of everything and just going with the flow for a year straight and I made friends who deep down I don’t think I like, while doing things that were objectivily painful (that is a seperate thing I’m working on I need to excersise more lol). There has to be some sort of goal/point/reason to hanging out with friends and if that is nothing more or less than “I feel good when I’m with my friends” then what do I do when I don’t feel good? Do I change what it takes for me to feel good or do I change my friends?

Wow tying that last bullet point really coalesed what I wanted to ask in this post, thank you <3