If the solution to your panic is “people wear pants and do the same thing they’ve been doing for hundreds of years in the public restroom” then your problem is not very serious.

I have a one-time deal for the Christian right. We will cover up all of these commandments.
If you can recite 5 of them, as a society we will allow you to post them.

I want more apologizing.

So in the memo you want me to put “hush money for abuse” ? Okay!