Awww, that’s so nice of you to say! Thanks for that. I’m glad you have proven that I can’t be taken seriously and that I’m not problem to Lemmy whatsoever. No one would listen to a guy like me! Right?! No bothers here. Of course not!!

I know, right?! No way anyone at all could even consider taking me seriously. That’s why I am so harmless. Just lil ole me, here in my echo chamber. No one would ever fall for anything I say. No bother. No reason to worry. Right, Aaron?!

You are so cute. I love that. So witty, too. See this is why I am no bother. I am nowhere near as clever as you. There’s no way I could coordinate a misinformation campaign on Lemmy. I’m just not smart enough. Dang it!

Oh, so now you are admitting you doxxed me. Ok, ok. So hey, what country am I in? You seem confused. So please, tell me more about myself. lolololololol

Me, your number one. :)

Well, YOU thought you doxxed me. But not even close. Besides you don’t think I’m american, why would you think my name is Aaron? lololololol

Of course you will. You can’t get enough of me. You are so mad that you didn’t beat me. So now you are obsessed. I love it. Please, keep on. lololololol

Hey, so when you thought you doxxed me and thought I was gonna be all scared when you called me by what you thought was my first name, what did you think was gonna happen?

Was I supposed to see it and think “OMG! He knows who I am! I should close everything and leave Lemmy, right now!!” Is that what you thought was gonna happen? You can be honest, Aaron. We’re all friends here

Nah, I like you now. I figure with this many alt names and how hard you have been stanning me, I may as well let you rant. I mean, in a few days, you’ll bolt and never speak from this username again. So I wanna enjoy the ride.

But relax. You have nothing to worry about from me. Just lil ole me in my echo chamber. No one listens to me, so you don’t have to worry about me being on Lemmy, right? Right?!

What other trolls? Just you and your alt names. I mean, I am so small and unimportant, why would other trolls follow me.

No one pay any attention to me. Yet, some how I get paid to post, according to you. That’s strange…hmmmm.

You only post in subreddits you run.

Well gosh darn, then you have no reason to worry about me. I mean, I only post in this little itty bitty corner. No one even listens to me, right? I’m the “biggest fucking snowflake” you’ve ever seen. So I’m no bother.

I just make shit up, right? Not important at all. Just lil ole me, in my echo chamber. No one listening. No bother. So you have nothing to be upset about, right?

Nah, not multiple, just you. See unlike you, most people just block me. But you can’t get enough of me. I love it!! :)

Aaron, don’t you get it? If you can have multiple usernames on multiple instances, I can too. Right? Surely, you’re not mad that I was inspired by you and do the same thing you do?

You should be flattered, comrade!

Hey, how many months have you been trying to get rid of me and make me leave Lemmy?

Yet, here I am. Hey which country do I live in? When are ya gonna drop the big dark secret of what I am really doing on Lemmy? We’re all waiting, holding our breath!

Come on, Aaron. What’s our mission. You know you wanna say it. Don’t be shy. Do it. Prove to everyone you’re right! Mate, you got this! Say it. Just say it.

Remember when you said that you “won.” And then got mad and deleted your comments when I called you out on it?

I feel bad. You were so happy when you thought you had won. Now won what, I don’t know, but you insisted. Then you had your big “aha!” moment when you thought you found out my name.

Imma tell you my real name. I feel bad that you have wondered all this time. Don’t tell anyone, Aaron. Promise?

Shhhh…it’s…it’s… Rumpelstiltskin.

Oh wait, nevermind. Just kidding. My real name is Donald J. Shkreli. I’m just one guy in my little ole corner of the Lemmyverse. No bother, here. No one even pays attention to little ole me, right? My little echo chamber. No bother here at all. :)

Right? Messing with you all these months has been the freakin’ highlight of my Lemmy experience. The amount of times you, under your alt names, have said variations of, “It’s just a DonaldJ.Musk alt! He’s trying to fool us!” is hilarious.

Hey remember when you said I was obsessed with you and following you around and talking to you under alt names?

Was it really me? Hmmmm…could I really be all of those people? But I’m so active under one username. How could I be all of those. Unless…unless it’s a group of people. Do ya think a group of people are following you? Doesn’t that sound kinda paranoid?

Hmmm, I’ll be honest. By now, I just don’t know the truth. There’s a saying, something like “don’t feed the troll.” Bruh, you are making the troll grow fat! You keep feeding and feeding and feeding the troll. Or trolls. Hmmm, which are me? Maybe all? Maybe none?

Glorious.

Meh, I’m just little ole Donald J. Shkreli now. No concern. Just little ole me staying here in my little “corner” and “echo chamber.” Right?!

Or maybe it’s something like ‘poke the troll, and you get the horns.’ :)

Thanks, Aaron! Oh wait, that’s what you tried calling me. Darn it, I guess I am just confusing things with all these darn alt names. Hang on, it’s you with alt names. Or is it me?

Sorry Aaron, where I live, it never really gets dark, so maybe I am having sleep deprivation. Unless I really live on a beach. Or do I live where it’s cold and snowy and there are bombs going off? I forget which scenario you think I am.

Care to enlighten us, mate?

Gotta throw in those false clues, Aaron! Right? Greetings from…oh wait, I forgot. Where is you think I live?

But bro, we’ve already gone over this under your other alt names. You still never tell me where you think I live. Come on, share it with us! Where do ya think I live, and what do you think I do for a living?

Listen, I get it. You’re mad. You really thought you’d unmasked me by matching some photos to Reddit accounts. Then you found out they were just random pictures I used, and not actually me. Sorry to disappoint. Dammit!

Honestly, I was going to play along and let you think you’d doxxed me. I was ready to act all paranoid when you called me Aaron, maybe drop some fake clues, pretend to cover my tracks. Would’ve been hilarious. But I couldn’t keep it going, mate. I was laughing too hard when you hit me with that big “Aha!” moment. LOL.

Unless… it was me all along, and I’m just saying this to throw you off the trail. Now that would be meta. Or maybe I only said that to make you think I’m lying about being the first person. Confusing, huh?

Anyway, now that we’ve cleared that up, and you’ve got your new Krasnov alt username (very Russian—nice touch), let’s hear it. Tell us where you think I live and what I do. Come on, comrade. Be bold. Out me to the world!

Давай, ты сможешь! Do it! Isn’t it frustrating that nothing you say ever makes me stop egging you on?

Here’s a thought: maybe you think I’m part of some operation, running tons of Lemmy accounts. Some pretending to be liberal, others neutral, just to stir things up. Maybe I drop comments when Democrats cave to Republicans to end a govt shutdown, then push third-party votes to split the base, and quietly help the other side win.

Maybe I even run a few obvious Republican alts, just to make the rest look innocent. Just so no one would know that I also run liberal accounts.

Or maybe I’m just sitting in my mum’s basement in Kansas, trolling for fun while you lose your mind trying to figure it out.

Nah. None of that could be true. Probably.

Or could it? Eh?

Holy crap, I just thought of something else. What if I threw in random british spellings to make it seem like I wasn’t paying attention when I wrote something, and leave it as a false clue too? Then you could look and go, “Def not American.”

That’d be meta. And crazy. Yes? But wait! by ending sentences with “Yes?” it makes me sound even more foreign. Could that be on purpose too? Just to make ya obsessed?

Nah, I think I’m in mum’s basement in kansas. Just one guy.

Wait, wait, wait. No! I pick the option where I’m in an office with other workers and we are working on some vast disinformation campaign. And we’re all laughing at you, and there are 10 of us who share this account. Could it be?

So, mate? Tell us. What do you think is really going on? :)

It’s family photo time!

Inherited

Ruger 10/22 with Weaver V22-A scope

Savage 26L, 12ga

Norinco SKS, 7.62x39

Astra A100, 9mm

Colt Detective Special, .38 Spl

Bought

PTR-91 GIR with Primary Arms SLx Nova LPVO, .308 Win/7.62x51

Ruger 10/22 with Tasco 629A scope and Otter Creek Labs Titanium

B&T GHM9c with PA SLx Cyclops microprism and OCL Lithium

GForce Saddlehorn Mare’s Leg, .357 Mag/.38 Spl

Browning Buck Mark Medallion, .22 LR

Colt Python, .357 Mag/.38 Spl

Springfield Armory 1911 Mil-Spec, .45 ACP

Beretta Px4 Storm, .45 ACP

Walther PDP Compact with Holosun HS507C-X2 Vulcan red dot, 9mm

HK USP Tactical with Rugged Obsidian 45 (short) and Streamlight TLR-7 HL-X, .45 ACP

Taurus TX22 TORO with Swampfox Sentinel II red dot

The mare’s leg and the TX22 are also able to sport cans, if desired. Next thing I want is a bolt-action rifle and a can for it, and perhaps a light for the GHM.

Well not exactly, cuz you still haven’t called me Donald yet, which is my name. Keep researching Reddit tho, you’ll figure it out. I promise. lmao

Go on, keep trying. Keep on researching those Reddit posts. You’re so close to the answer. I just know you can figure it out. My face is on there and my gf. It’s the one w my extended family (faces blocked out) from a reunion pic at the gun range. My family owns the range so our name is in the actual pic. Come on, step up! You’re almoooost there. 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

And I said hi back! See? We’re good friends now!

Hi guy! Why’d you respond under this alt instead of one of your other alts?! Come on man, you can be more creative. You have so many other cooler names!

So when you start a new one, do you think to yourself, “Oh Donny boy is gonna like this one!” or no? After all, you create them just to follow me because you are so obsessed with me. What’s that like? Being so obsessed with one person, that you have a bunch of alt names. Do you think you are gonna message me, and I’ll go, “Oh! This is one too many. I MUST leave Lemmy now!” lolol Is that your fantasy? lolololol

Anyhoo, my name’s actually Donald. Donald J. Shkreli. You can call me Don. Or Tha Don. Or Goldenboy Don. Or PharmaBro. But Aaron? That’s like, so poor, bruh. My Dad’s name is Alex Murdaugh, but he’s in a bit of a pickle and busy right now, so I had to change my name to avoid drama. Do you like it? Be honest. Wanna come over for drinks later?